Why You Need Life Insurance

Most parents who are raising children, are at least somewhat financially responsible. They generally have day jobs where they work hard, pay their bills, provide shelter and food for their family and if there is any money left over, they may save a little bit for retirement. What I have found though, is that most are not adequately informed about the importance of life insurance.

If you have enough savings that your family could live without your salary for an extended period of time, you need not read further. For the rest of us, life insurance is not a luxury or a gift, it should be a priority just as important as buying groceries or paying your electric bill. The reason why is if something were to happen to any member of a household who earns income, there would not be a way to pay these bills.

How Much Coverage Do I Need?

To figure out how much life insurance you need, a little legwork may be required. You need to calculate your total annual household expenses. Once you have that number down (we will use $50,000 for illustration purposes), you then need to estimate your final expenses. You must calculate funeral expenses, paying off your mortgage and any other debts, etc.. Although this sounds dreary, it is important.

Once you have these figures down, the formula to figure out how much life insurance you need is quite simple. You need $50,000 (your total annual household expenses), minus any other after-tax annual income from your household (a spouse’s paycheck), for 10 years.  For example, lets say your spouse earns $30,000/year after taxes, you need $50,000-$30,000 =$20,000/yr x 10 years = $200,000. Now you just add on your death expenses ($230,000 for example). This brings your total life insurance number to $430,000.

Which Is the Best Type of Policy?

There are many different policy types to choose from. Most of them have a built in savings vehicle. The cost associated with the savings portion of the plan is usually farely minimal. If you are reading this blog however, you can manage your savings on your own – you do not need a financial company to manage your investments and charge you a fee for doing so. To keep things simple, apply for a 30-year term life policy. This will allow you to pay just the premium for the life insurance policy with no built-ins or add-ons.

Life insurance is quite cheap these days with a $500,000 30 yr-term policy going for about $450/yr. for a 30 year-old male with good health. At this rate you should probably look to financially protect your family even further. If you can afford to do so, double the policy. The benefit of the extra cushion, should something happen, far outways the $450/yr in policy costs. Hopefully your family will never need to collect on a life insurance policy but, having one will help everyone sleep a little easier at night.

-PFG

[Via http://persfinanceguy.wordpress.com]

your move

God, I’m so scared of myself.  Right now, I doubt that anything can save me.  What a horrifying feeling to be shown that the very center of your existence is rotten to the core.  What’s more terrifying is to see that all of the work you’ve done to paint over the scars you’ve had from birth can all be undone in one moment of misguided passion.  One lapse-one slip of the foot and the tightwire is steadily flying upward.

The worst part is that you can’t adapt to it, like you can adapt to external situations.  The condition of your soul cannot be adapted to, because it is what defines you.  Despite what the existentialists say, acting differently cannot change your soul-at least not all of the time.  People go to great lengths to do things that will make them better people.  If we had not all grown up with this phenomenon, we would find it amazingly strange how much people do out of guilty obligation, or frantic penance.

I might venture as far as to say that people spend 90% of their time trying to make up for the stuff they did during the other 10.    Most of this is for personal reasons-because most “good deeds” feel even better to the doer.

In my case, being the “good kid” feels good because it is comfortable-it has been my role in most of my social and family groups.  This makes “good deeds” especially easy for me-I’ve always done “the right thing”, which often makes them especially automatic, and insincere.  Sincere good will is hard to find.  Almost as hard to find as consistency.  Why is consistency so hard?

Lately, despair has visited often, closely following obligation.  I vaguely know what I could do to help most of the people I know, but knowledge seems to only make action that much more difficult, especially when I realize that all of life runs together.  I’m faced with an onslaught of people and tasks that need both love and discipline and as I look at the forever growing hoard, the more people and places I see the harder it is to summon the strength to even move.  I’m tired, with no hope of rest without sacrificing someone I know.

I am not being self-centered, just trying not to look away while opportunities for good slip away forever.  There is definitely a seriousness about life that many are better not even knowing about.  It’s the oblivious who are envied-the children and those who act like children, because they are not burdened by knowing that there is far more work to be done than strength to do it all.  Not to mention, men are incapable of selfless love necessary for most of the work needed to be done.

I feel like there is an infinite amount of love and work to give and do, and I am incapable of even the smallest of tasks-I can’t even come to terms with my own rottenness.  I’m a car, broken down in the night with long days of traveling ahead of me.

Why do I write so hopelessly?

Because I am without hope.  And so is every other human being.

your move

[Via http://mstar4.wordpress.com]

The Year of the Mexican Birthday...Almost

It is unfortunate that my daughter will probably grow-up saying that her mother hated Mexican traditions and did not love her enough to buy her a pinata; however, these are misconceptions that no amount of salsa and burritos can fix.

Cookies courtesy of Jeannie - THANK YOU!

Next year I will most certainly purchase a pinata because once my daughter reaches adulthood, I know she won’t allow me to attend her therapeutic talk sessions and defend myself.  It is my maternal goal to be forever remembered as the mother who not only loved salsa & chips, but could also do the Mexican hat dance.  Well maybe not so much the hat dance as the chips, but you get the point.

Birthday Girl

Despite the lack of raining candy, we managed to have a festive birthday for FringeKid.  The day was bittersweet for me.  With a quick shoot in each ear, my baby had gone from pure cuteness to a bedazzled sparkler.  It’s similar to the transformation of a denim jacket that has suddenly been studded with rhinestones.

I’m not sure what comes next, but I have no more babies.  What I do have are ceiling and doorways filled with streamers and balloons.  I’m taking solace in the fact that they could be filled with spiders and webs and I’d much rather pink paper and expanded rubber.

So until next year, I am the mother who didn’t buy a pinata.

[Via http://thedomesticfringe.wordpress.com]

New Years Resolutions...

It seems silly to make resolutions- does anyone every actually keep them?

Why do I make a ridiculous list of things I intend to do or change in the following year? Do I really want to be reminded of how little self-control I have?

YES!!! I Do!!!

1. Ok I quit smoking a year and a half ago… time to get off the nicotine lozenge! Or at least switch to the patch. lol
2. Watching the kids exercise with my Wii fit isn’t going to get me in shape. Jackson is two months old its time to get in shape!
   
   
3. Sort through the crap and get rid of the clutter! This house is a disaster, I’ve got to get better organized and keep after it.
4. Quit bitchin’… or at least bitch less. Not sure I’d have anything to blog about if I quit all together.
   
   
5. Enjoy my children more. Having 5 is chaos…. I have to learn to relax & have fun.
6. Spend more time with Mr. Greek4cheerful no matter how annoying he might be. lol
   
   
7. Finish my book before my 30th birthday.
8. August will be here soon and with it the end of my 20’s. I will embrace it, depression free.

[Via http://greek4cheerful.wordpress.com]

Mommy Job

The child was a typical four-year-old girl — cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.

“Now do you understand?” he asked.

“I think so” she said, “is that when mommy came to work for us?”

[Via http://enjoycleanjokes.wordpress.com]

Little Miss A

Love this look! So peaceful and timeless!

So sweet!

Thanks Nat for sharing your new cutie pie with me!

[Via http://rsephotography.wordpress.com]

Merry Christmas!

It’s been a great Christmas for our family.

It started with a wonderful candlelight service on Christmas Eve at First Presbyterian Church in North Little Rock. We thank all of the members for their graciousness in sharing their special service with us. It was their first service back in their sanctuary after nearly two years, thanks to a generous donation from a contractor who donated and installed a new HVAC system.

On Christmas Day, Nancy and I went to my folks’ house, where we spent part of the day with them and my brother, Pat, who lives in Carrollton, Texas. He arrived safely after a tough drive, running from the threat of snow in the Dallas area and through a series of closed roads because of flooding here in Arkansas.

[Via http://mikedougherty.wordpress.com]

Tomorrow, a life-size SnowGordonBrown....

David Davis

But today, these…

SnowMandelson exercising on trampoline

SnowNickGriffin, expostulating

SnoWBama, messiahrising

Yep, you’ve spotted the deliberate deception! They are all the same man! Happy Christmas, old fellas and slappers, and let’s look forward to a politician-free new year….sometime in the distant future.

[Via http://libertarianalliance.wordpress.com]

‘ROCstars’ for December 2009 – Arun Raja and Banhishikha Majumdar

We are almost drawing a close on 2009 and are hopeful of a great 2010. But before we say goodbye to this year, The Reach Out Club would like to introduce to you ‘The ROCstar of the Month’. This is a title for anyone who has gone that extra mile to reach out towards any cause.

 

For December we have two ROCstars – Arun Raja and Banhishika Majumdar who have come forward to sponsor the education of needy children. Both of them have learnt that it does not take much to reach out to someone in need. The Reach Out Club applauds its first ROCstars.

 

Arun Raja

Arun Raja is an employee of Infosys and was looking around for opportunities to do some good work in the field of children’s education. When contacted by The Reach Out Club, he readily agreed to sponsor the education of two children of the Franciscan Institute School, Bangalore.

Arun had never heard of ROC or any of its members previously. But by evening, Arun paid the annual fees of two children – Dhanalakshmi (class IX) and Anita (class VIII) and gave them a better tomorrow. Congratulations Arun, do continue the good work!

 

Banhishikha Majumdar

Banhishikha is a journalist working for Press Association. Before moving into Mangalore Banhishikha was helping a physically challenged child’s education. Her desire to help children brought her to ROC which she wished to sponsor the education of a girl child. ROC put her in touch with a social work agency through which she sponsored the education of Kunitha D’Souza, a first standard student of Government School, Pavoor. Good work Banhishika. You are our ROCstar!

 

 

Children sponsored by Arun Raja

Dhanalakshmi

Dhanalakshmi studies in class IX at the Fransciscan Institute School, Bangalore. Like most children of her age, she wished to do finish her schooling and get into college. But the financial condition at home did not seem too favourable to even complete her current year of study in spite of being academically good.  

Dhanalakshmi’s father runs a petty shop on a busy roadside while her mother takes care of the house. She has two brothers and one sister. School is still a luxury to her. If things could get any worse, the shop that the family runs will soon be demolished for the road extension project in the area. It would be the end of the road for Dhanalakshmi. But thanks to Arun Raja who paid all her fees for the year, she can now complete her class IX exams. 

 

Anita

Anita hails from a poor family. Her parents are both coolie workers and with their meager income support four children. Each day is a struggle for them. Though poor, the parent’s dream of seeing their daughter complete her schooling so that she may be able to become sufficient and independent in the years to come. But with the soaring prices for basic existence, Anita would soon have to drop out of school in order to support her family. Arun Raja is blessing in disguise for Anita. It is because of sponsors like him, this bright girl is able to study and look towards a good future.

 

Children sponsored by Banhishikha Majumdar

Kunitha D’Souza, is the second daughter of Mr Francis and Mrs Tina. They stay in their maternal grandmothers house on a tiny island called Pavoor Uliya, near Adyar in Mangalore. Her father Francis works as a cook. In the last monsoons their small house collapsed and put them into great misery. Kunitha’s mother suffers from sever back pain. Little Kunitha is a smart and active kid. She loves dancing and is good in academics too. The helping hand from Banhishikha has helped ease the woes of the family.

About sponsoring education for  children

 

We all assume that sponsoring a child’s education costs a huge amount. The truth is that, it can be begin from very small amounts of Rs 200 a month. In case if you wish to know more about how you can help a  needy child, please contact the ROC team.

 

Melisha Noronha         9886771435

Vinod Lobo                9886724631

therocteam@gmail.com

[Via http://reachoutclub.wordpress.com]

Reiki for Children, Reiki Kids

As a result of working with children who are interested in Reiki, Reiki Jezek Kytka Hilmar designed for children: The use of Healing Touch and raw foods in the power of the universe Tap. In this book he uses his combined experience as a Reiki Master, teacher, doctor of naturopathy and a first foodist mother of three children, carefully present the power of Reiki to young adults. In a style that enhances self-esteem in all, Kytka leads the reader on a journey of self-discovery, their …

[Via http://dietresult.wordpress.com]

The Gift of a Child

I’m not even sure where to begin on this topic. SO many things have been ging around in my mind this week with regards to this.

For a start I have this beautiful gift of a child, given to me by Allah (Subhanallah wa ta ala – SWT) over five years ago. She truly is a blessing, sometimes a challenging one (aren’t they all) but truly the light of my life. And on our journeys in the car we seem to have some truly insightful moments. This is where little nuggets of the thought processes of her developing mind seem to spill forth. And this is when as a mother I start to panic. I realise how much without realising we shape their minds….and sometimes when they put our 2+2 together it certainly does not equal 4!

For example, her current discovery that there is more than one religion. Her poor little mind is not yet equipped to deal with the concept of different belief sets or the option to choose your own version of right. How do I explain Christmas to a child who all this time I’ve been telling Islam is the right way, the only way! And now I have to explain other religions, the choice others have made to follow a different set of beliefs. That ( cue 5 yr old -shock, horror) not all people listen to Allah (SWT)!

How do you explain such a complex subject in simple 5 year old language?  So at the moment we haven’t got into the why’s and wherefores of religious choice (thankfully!!) And I’ve just stated the world is filled with different people choosing different ways to believe. The we talked about People of the book and the choice to follow Prophet Isa (Allayhi wa salaam – AS), Musa (AS), Nuh (AS) etc. An d how we’re lucky to have been given the gift of knowledge thru Prophet Muhammad (Sallalahi allayhi wa salaam – SAW), who was the nicest, most beloved Prophet of all.  She’s bought it for now, but I know that mind is ticking away and the questioning is about to start so I need to get my wits about me soon!

Any advice dear readers?

As for the other thoughts swirling in the midsts, I think they warrant their own blog posts, so back soon!

[Via http://heartofamuslimah.wordpress.com]

Day 15 - The prettiest to-do list in the whole world

After a lovely anniversary dinner – thanks Chef Kevin – last night, we are having a planning day.  My extended family is coming over to our house Thursday for our holiday celebrations, and I am preparing the meal.  This is the first time in my whole life I have ever hosted for Christmas.  It is so exciting and so full of anxiety opportunities.  However, I am determined to relax and have fun with it!  I am taking my own advice, (shockingly difficult to do sometimes,) and am making a plan.  I got out a BIG sketchpad and started making a mind map for all the things I wanted to do prior to their arrival.

The point of not just making a list on paper is to make me smile when I look at it.  I even let the kids draw on it with me…even the 4-year-old.  So far so good, I do love looking at it.

Today, the only thing I put on the schedule was to do the plan – DONE!  However, it looks like I am going to get the chocolate dipped pretzels finished as well.  YAY!

The key here is to not try and stuff too much into each day.  The minute I start to feel overwhelmed I am stopping.  Well, that’s the plan anyway!

My meditation is good.  I find myself not resisting doing it at all.  I am just accepting it as something I do everyday now.   Strange.

I think the next step is 20 minutes twice a day, but that I am resisting.  Seems like an awful lot of time away from the family.  Still, I think it is the next step in ye olde spiritual growth path.  We’ll see.

Day 15 Recap

Meditation Time: 20 minutes

Yoga: 0 minutes

Smiling with Liver: 3 minutes

# of times I yelled at my kids: 1

# of times I yelled at or got upset with hubbie: 0

# of times I felt overwhelmed by holiday stress: 0

[Via http://inspiredbalance.wordpress.com]

Christmas gifts for children - special gifts for special occasion

Image : http://www.flickr.com

Christmas Eve brings great happiness and celebration with her. On this happy occasion, we must try to make the experience of celebrating Christmas in a better and more prosperous. This objective to make the best of Christmas and the prosperous can not be reached by the clash of ideas that will help bring new life to celebrate Christmas.As it is known by all, if children are happy with each other festival, the rest automatically become happy as the heart and soul of any party lies in the happiness of the children themselves. Christmas gift ideas for children are a part of countless ideas to help celebrate Christmas in a better way than the most prosperous. Ideas for Christmas gifts for children include a wide variety of gifts that children love to get at the holyChristmas party. The ideas of ideas of Christmas gifts for children who go round the hearts and minds of people who are the manufacturers of gifts and sold in all minds and hearts of those who have the intention to buy these gifts for their children to make them happier joyous occasion of Christmas.

Christmas gift ideas for children that are shared by producers of gifts offers gift baskets for children as one of the best ways to give to the question of giving gifts to children at Christmas. The reason for the gift baskets for children are regarded as one of the best options for Giving Away Christmas is that these boxes are designed so that it is able to attract the attention of children very early and therefore have the ability to make children happy curious on the eve of> Christmas. Secondly, these gift baskets for children are not very expensive to buy so as not to exert great pressure on the pocket of the person who buys or intends to buy gifts for their children. Christmas gift ideas for children include various other ideas that help provide gifts for children according to their likes and dislikes, and facilitates the establishment of standards for certain donations to be made available. Ideas for children to donateChristmas Day should be designed with great attention, as the sensitivity of the mind and heart of young children should be taken into consideration before buying a gift for them. Children younger age groups in general, like candy or chocolates as gifts to mark their elders. Giving them the gift basket Hanukah is also a beautiful little girls idea usually prefer dolls with all accessories related to the design and managementdolls. Children of age group a little "too little higher than have generally prefer gifts such as video games and other electronic gadgets that they are able to satisfy the curiosity of children.

Friends Link : Cheapest Toys

[Via http://gift4christmas.wordpress.com]

Been Busy Moving

I haven’t blogged in awhile because we moved to Chicago, and packing and unpacking with two small kids has been kind of crazy-hectic. I have some things to blog about, but I’m not sure when I’m going to get it. Christmas is coming up, and we want to get our place all cleaned up, moved in, and set up before the holidays (family company, etc.), and before my job starts in January.

So hang tight, and don’t delete me from your feed reader just yet.

[Via http://byzantium.wordpress.com]

If a new baby has caused some marital stress, here's some help

By Paige Parker, The Oregonian, December 16, 2009

Take a happy marriage. Now add a tiny baby. You’ll get a blissful marriage, yes?

Not always. About two-thirds of all new parents say they’re unsatisfied with their marriage in the first year of their baby’s life.

Roles change. Time tightens. Sex, dear? Dear? Are you asleep?

Given the stress, it’s a wonder anyone stays married. In fact, one out of four married couples get divorced within five years of a baby’s birth.

Seattle relationship researcher and clinical psychologist John Gottman found decreased marital satisfaction could be predicted by a husband’s negativity toward his wife; his expression of disappointment in the marriage; and either partner describing their life as chaotic.

Gottman and his wife, fellow clinical psychologist Julie Gottman, wrote, “And Baby Makes Three” (Three Rivers Press, $13.95 paperback, 272 pages), a guide to marriage preservation for new parents. They also developed a class, Bringing Home Baby, offered locally by Providence St. Vincent Medical Center.

We talked to instructor Amy Wesson about some of the marital pitfalls of parenthood and advice to ease the transition.

Why does having a baby strain a marriage?

People are shocked at how much their life shifts from “what we want to do” to “what we need to do.” In particular, the lack of sleep complicates things. If a body lacks food and sleep, it is not capable of performing on its best level. You pretty much fall back on whatever gets you through the moment, and that’s going to be different for two humans.

About month four, mothers have a drop in their overall marital satisfaction. For fathers, it’s between nine and 12 months. The difference in when that dip happens causes problems and makes it difficult to support each other.

So, if we know marriages tend to falter in the first months after a baby’s birth, why not offer classes to strengthen the marriage before the baby is born? Why wait until after?

Good childbirth prep classes usually end with some information on how you’ll feel those first few months and give a realistic picture. But there’s only so much a couple can take in before the baby comes.

What do the problems look like?

Communication is what you need, and that is one of the first things to go when you’re running on bare bones. Things are snappier and quicker. In times of stress, we take each other apart.

Gottman says there are four warning signs. Things tend to be more negative than positive. Then, there are the four horsemen: either or both partners engage in criticism, defensiveness, contempt or stonewalling. One or both partners feels “flooded” or overwhelmed by the way their partner raises complaints, and your body kicks into a fight-or-flight response. The fourth sign is that repair attempts fail.

How can couples ward off trouble?

Build the base and the foundation of your house through learning about each other. Continue to look for what’s good in your partner, and consciously choose to turn toward your partner when he or she makes a bid or a request for attention. Each time, you have the option to be rude, ignore it, or to come at the bid from a positive place and see what your partner is really trying to tell you.

You need to fill your house with positive things, and say them, not just think them. Bring up difficult topics with a softened start-up–gently. Accept your partner’s influence.

We know conflict arises. It’s about recognizing it and working through it. People don’t really fix that, but you get better at it.

Here’s a sample of what John and Julie Gottman recommend couples say to de-escalate a conflict, to recover from one or just to apologize.

“That hurt my feelings.”

“My reactions were too extreme.”

“How can I make things better?”

“Let’s compromise here.”

“I think your point of view makes sense.”

“Can I have a kiss?”

“Can we take a break?”

“This is important to me. Please listen.”

“I might be wrong here.”

“Let’s agree to disagree here.”

“That’s a good point.”

“I understand.”

“My part of this problem is …”

[Via http://mariafromitaly.wordpress.com]

Will I make it this Christmas?-last minute with the kids

Alpha Mom has some great wreath ornaments which the kids will enjoy putting together

Image from Alpha Mom

Cropped image from Family Fun

Sticking with ornaments for the moment these cute little birds are made from felt, as are these unusual balls. For something a little trickier use your playdough cutters as shapes for felt/ gingerbread cookies. Or add a ribbon to make them for the tree.

Image from zakka life

You could use upcycled felted jumpers (sweaters) or your regular store bought felt. Also try them all using  cardboard or strong paper instead. (glue rather than sew together for the ball)

Photo fromHappy Together

This idea is adorable! It’s from sycamore stirrings. Any grandparent would love a personalised drawing of themselves that they can hang on the tree year after year. Be careful though, you may earn yourself a yearly request.

more photos like this one on sycamore stirrings

So your school holidays are now well and truly full of fun making things and giving things. Please send me photos of anything you have made over the Christmas series. I would love to show them.

Next Friday is the day….so no more “Will I make it this Christmas?” posts…. well at least until next year.

I hope you have enjoyed them and they have inspired you, at least in theory, to try some things.

[Via http://allysonadeney.wordpress.com]

Our little opera singer

Tonight, my niece Sophia sang a solo in her third grade class’ Christmas show. I was so proud. She loves to sing, and is working on coming out of her shell. Earlier this year, she started lessons after a music teacher at University of the Pacific heard her and heard what she was naturally able to do with her voice. The other night, she sang for my family in my living room, and I was blown away. She sang a dramatic opera-style song in Italian. I don’t even know what it’s called because I can’t spell it.

I love this photo because the other children are all looking at her as she sings a solo during a song from “Handel’s Messiah.”

And of course, the night wasn’t without glitches in the cafeteria theater. Sophia started her solo with a broken mic, so the directors immediately called a timeout. As you can tell by the other kids’ faces, it was catastrophe. In the end, the show went on and all those little kids shared plenty of high-pitched, off-key, super fun holiday cheer.

[Via http://theurbanhippie.wordpress.com]

The best way to save for college

Clark Behind The Headlines

From HLN’s Money Expert Clark Howard

I recently dug in and researched all the college savings plans available around the country so I could update the guide on my web site. And did that take a lot of time! But did I find a pleasant surprise. The plans known as 529 plans have gotten much better. Not all of them are better, but a lot of them around the country have improved.

If you’re familiar with 529 plans, you know that you can put money into them and if it’s used later for eligible college expenses, then all the earnings accumulated through the years are yours tax-free.

529 plans were growing like crazy earlier this decade. And then when the bottom fell out of the economy and the stock market, 529 plans just froze, essentially. They stopped growing and people stopped contributing to them. Because when you’re at a point in your life where you’re just trying to put food on the table, putting money aside in a college savings plan goes by the wayside, as it should.

My 529 guide went from the #1 most-visited section of my web site, to way down the list. There’s some sense that people are feeling a little more confident now, because more people are going to my 529 guide.

I said a lot of plans were getting better. So, what makes a 529 plan better?

Each plan has an annual fee for the manager of the money for your kids’ college. And those management fees have declined a lot since I revised my guide last year. It is now much easier for you to find a good plan.

The way Congress wrote the law is that states have to sponsor 529 plans. So, each state can sponsor one or more plans. In most situations, your money can go into any state’s plan. But if the state where you live has a good plan, you should put your money there because you may — if your state has an income tax — have a tax benefit for putting money into your state’s 529 plan. And remember, at the time you spend the money, it’s tax-free if it’s used for college expenses.

A single state may have several plans. But all of them could be junk. So in my 529 guide, I have links for you to the best plan available in each state. The only plans I recommend are commission-free plans.

If your state is not on my list, you should go with one of the Dean’s List with High Honors plans. The three best plans in America are sponsored by the states of Utah, Iowa and New York. Utah is my favorite of all the 529 plans in America. But again, if you live in a state that’s on my Honor Roll, go into your state plan. For the complete list, click here.

[Via http://tips.blogs.cnn.com]

Last but not least - my little "G"

Once in awhile I have to show the world how cute my little guy is!  Well, I need to remind myself too sometimes as he can be a little devil with horns even though you don’t see them!  Maybe you can pick up on his devilish grin! Anyways, just had to share a couple!

[Via http://cherisegow.wordpress.com]

Stupidity of the Children's Program

My church has a very stupid children’s Christmas program.  It happens once every year, including this Sunday.  This one had a country theme.  It effectively took one of my worst-liked genres of music and make it worse.  The kids generally don’t sing all that well and it is very painful indeed.  However, there was a girl that did sing a good solo.  She was the exception rather than the rule.

The program brings back bad memories of when it was my time to go up there.  I did not like being forced to sing.  Of course you can volunteer for one of the solos. A kid did do that despite not having a very good voice. You can’t, however, decide to not do the program. That was not a choice.

So I hate this program every year.  This year was probably the worst with the country theme.  It implied that everyone in the country was Christian and every in the city is not.  I didn’t like that either.  After every bunch of songs, there is also the obligatory series of claps and the obligatory standing ovation at the end.  Until I have kids of my own that go into the program, I will hate it.

[Via http://spufool.wordpress.com]

Rekindle your Relationships, Not Just the Yule Tide Fire

I tried not to blog about it, I really did. But it has been everywhere lately and it can no longer be avoided. What am I talking about? First there was Tiger, then Bradgelina all over the super market isles, and now a scandal among friends. I ask myself, what do all these people have in common, besides a failing relationship and a cheating spouse?

Tiger and Bradgelina both have small children. And let’s face it, small children take up a large part of anyone’s time and energy. Who has energy left for your once significant other? But my friend did not have kids. She is; however, dealing with the death of a loved one. In all these instances, energies have been diverted other places. A plant can not grow and will soon whither and die without light, water, and warmth. In the same way, a relationship will fade when not given attention and love.

If you feel like life, in all it’s joys and sorrows, is pulling you away from anyone you love-take actions to ensure your relationship is nurtured. It might not even be a spouse, it could be a close friend, or a family member. Especially in the holiday season, our minds are lost in our To Do list. Here’s My New To Do List:

1.) Hold his hand and kiss him in public

2.) Give him a massage after a hard day

3.) Treat each date, like it was the first

4.) Show interest in what interests him

5.) Take care of and show LOVE for myself

What is on your To Do List today? Namaste.

[Via http://mrsscott.wordpress.com]

Full of Sugar, Full of Spice

Gingerbread House, 2008

Last night was the night to build the gingerbread house for 2009. Actually we needed to build two, one for William and Walker’s house, and one for Karsten’s.

The house above is the one William and I put together last year. I dressed the photo up a little by using Flaming Pear’s Flexify Mirror Ball. I love this effect. It looks like it could be a tree ornament.

This year the other two little boys are old enough to participate, so I baked a casserole of lasagna, so we could be fortified for the task, and  invited the whole gang to come over to participate, or just to observe construction. Next year I think the three little boys and I can handle it on our own, but this year I wanted help available, to minimize the chance that grandma would be run over by a gingerbread house! It’s not easy to concentrate on spreading icing while six little hands are trying to stick gumdrops in it at the same time. I made a rule that no architectural detailing could be eaten until everything was finished. I didn’t expect that rule to carry any weight, but, surprisingly, it did! No one wanted to run out of construction materials.

I think the boys loved it. I was a little busy trying to sprout eight arms to keep up with their six, but I was aware that there was a lot of laughing, singing of Christmas songs (Walker has an amazing repertoire), and being silly.  I was happily amazed at how well they worked together, and not one of them fell off a chair or the counter.

Construction gets underway.

Trying to keep the icing flowing fast enough for the boys to add candy.

Ready to put candy in the icing the second it's applied!

Walker might be destined to be a codes inspector.

Karsten has an eye transplant.

William thinks Karsten had a great idea.

Quitting time! Walker gets ready to go home, wearing his great new hat!

Gingerbread House, 2009

[Via http://threedogstudio.wordpress.com]

The Sound of finding home

I can still hear it ~ that bell

Ringing through the neighborhood

It meant so many things back then

Time to say goodbye to my friends for now

Dinner is almost ready

Homework needs to be done

Come in for a shower or bath

It was the signal before dark

It was the alarm before bed

It was the sound that kept me out of trouble

Or at least kept my trouble to a minimum

How I hated that bell at times

The end of everything fun I would say

Everyone knew what it meant

We were trained ~ like Pavlov’s dog

Without salivating

Unless tears of frustration counted

I once hid that bell

My father then learned how to whistle

Really

Really

Loud

I gave the bell back

And now as I have grown

I can still hear it ~ that bell

Reigning me in if I strayed too far

It was my beacon, my lighthouse, my North star

My external world doing what was best for me

Bringing me back to where I needed to be

Where there was worry if I didn’t appear

It was, in actuality a sound of caring and concern

Limits and structure

It became the sound of loving parents

It always brought me home

At the end of my day ~

And when all was said and done

That’s where I wanted to be all along

So when I hear a bell, I smile softly to myself

Seeing my mom on the porch

Wanting her daughter to be safe

Not a bad memory to treasure after all

Copyright © 2007 / all rights reserved

~ ~

May you always hear your bell

Taking you where you need to be most

[Via http://lifethroughgreeneyes.wordpress.com]

The Influence of Advertising or Just Plain Hype

I tried to watch one of the children’s television programs tonite with my daughter, but it was impossible to stay with the story line because of all the interfering commercials offering all kinds of products, not only for the children, but also for the adults who would be watching with their children. Everything offered was something that ‘you must have’. Not only do you want this, but you absolutely, positively need it.

When I was growing up, my mother used to talk of  Christmas at her house when she was growing up. There were 9 children and no father, so they had very little money for anything, much less for items they might want. On Christmas morning, all those 9 children got up and were thrilled and surprised to find an orange that Santa had left each of them. Later on, I read in the 50’s about a minority woman who was moaning that that was all she got for Christmas when she was a child. But she failed to mention that this was the norm for many of the families over the years. My mother never moaned nor complained about this. She thought that orange was a great and grand surprise to have for Christmas. Depends upon your attitude I guess. And on what you think you need to make you happy.

Nowadays, everyone expects to have everything imaginable under the tree on Christmas morning. And why? Because someone says they not only want this, but they need it in order to be happy in their lives. Everyone needs to step back and take a good hard look at their lives. What you need and what you want are two very different things. I might want a lot of things, but I really don’t need them. When I was growing up, I never realized that I didn’t need so many things until my parents told me so. I have heard the words, “You don’t need that” many times in my lifetime. Of course I thought I did need something because my friends all had it, or because I saw it in a magazine or heard about it on the radio. But that didn’t mean that I needed it. And thankfully, my parents taught me not to always want, want, want. They taught me well. I have never had the desire for ‘things’.

One year when I was a young teen, I insisted that I needed this particular kind of haircut. It was called a ‘feather cut’ and all my friends were getting this gorgeous haircut and they looked so beautiful that I just had to have one of those. My parents didn’t argue about it. They told me a couple of times that I didn’t need it, but I kept on insisting that I did. Finally, my mother took me to the beauty shop and I went in, thrilled beyond words. I sat down in the chair and insisted again that I needed this ‘feather cut’. The man tried to tell me that I would have to have a permanent also, but I insisted that my friends all had this wonderful haircut and I was getting one, too. And I was also going to be beautiful. Well, he did just like my parents had done. He didn’t bother to argue with me about it. He just set about cutting my hair. I watched in the mirror and the transformation just simply was not happening to me. I just looked the same. When he finished cutting, I paid the bill, but could not believe the way I looked. Sure enough, he was right. I didn’t need that ‘feather cut’. In order to have that beautiful hairdo, it was necessary to either have a permanent or to have naturally curly hair. But I had insisted until I won. And now I had chunks of hair all over my head. Instead of looking gorgeous, I just looked ridiculous. Where the hair was supposed to ‘feather’, mine sat like a clod all over my head. I was ashamed, but was stuck with the look for quite awhile afterwards. But I learned that just because I wanted that haircut didn’t mean that I needed it.

If you get a chance, teach your children they don’t need all those things they really just want. Teach them they don’t need things to be happy in their lives. Tell them they don’t need that until they learn the value of and the difference in wants and needs.

[Via http://booksbybet.wordpress.com]

GEOGRAPHY WITHOUT TEARS, THE NEED FOOR A GEOGRAPHIC PARK

 Goddess Saraswaty’s eldest son Mathematics holds a venerable position in the family followed by Physics. Both are allied like Ram and Laxman.

 Later on, came Chemistry and Biology. Alas! Geography and History are just poor cousins! In India our ancestors were too much concerned about Atma and Paramatma to be bothered about such mundane matters like the Mountains and Rivers and the Seas. Even Al Beruni’s India, written after A.D. 1000, contains only sketchy description of a few rivers.

 While Alexander the Great sent an expedition to explore the river Indus up to the Sea (Alexander wanted to return to Greece through the seas about which coastal Europeans were acquainted through Sea Traders from the time of Phoenicians; but the attempt failed because of inclement whether and pestilence, to the disappointment of the great Emperor), did any of the Kings who ruled this region afterwards care to do it?

 The Chinese marine traders made a map of the known world, including parts of Africa, even two millennia ago. By 18th century Portuguese made comparatively accurate maps, which were kept very secret, in consideration of Trade Wars, even though much of it was destroyed in fire.

 Captain Cook was a good Cartographer. He sailed round part of Australia and  the New Zealand islands,and the map he made is remarkably accurate. He planted the Union Jack there and on return to England offered the Island on a platter to the Queen! Thus it becomes part of Her Majesty’s Empire!

 Indian is much nearer to Australia and N.Z. With such a shore line and good quality wood for the shipping industry, we could have produced great explorers and history would have been different. We just don’t care about geography. How many of us can describe off hand, the States bordering Chattisgarh? Do we have a geographic society like the National Geographic Society (USA) for the Royal Geographic Society (UK) which foots the bill of innumerable expeditions?

 Only when the British Rule was established, a comprehensive survey of the land was undertaken. I feel that children should not be taught Geography; they should learn it like their mother tongue. They just cannot read the maps on flat papers. A Geographic park will automatically enliven their interest in the subject. The waste land South of Nizamuddin Bridge to East Delhi is ideally suited for the purpose. The outline of India, Pakistan and Bangladesh can be marked, measuring at least one kilometre, and sand excavated from surrounding “Seas’’ filled in the “subcontinent’’. Thus, Himalayas as high as 20 feet and other mountains of proportionate hight can be made.

 By fitting pipelines under the mountains, water can be made to spout from the origin of the rivers to make them “flow’’. Dams and Great Bridges can be made at actual location, along with major Rail routs and National Highway. Green grass can be grown at important grain producing plains. Shrubs can indicate forest. Suitable models of the Gateway of India, Rameshwaram Temple, Charminar etc. can show actual location of the concerned cities and towns. Even Power Plants and Electric grid can be simulated. 

 A Water Park may be made in the “Seas’’ with Floating Shops and Restaurants. Illuminated by Solar Powered Electricity, the area can became a destination point for Delhi-ites who desperately throng the India Gate in the evenings, for want of something better.

In due course, the “Atlantic Ocean and Pacific Ocean’’ can be dug, leaving contour maps of Africa, America etc. We may think of a Deer Park in Africa and Goshala in America! And what about a Solar System where students can watch the movements of planets and occurrence of eclipses?

After a visit to the Park, children will learn more of Geography, than they can learn in ten years!

[Via http://waterfriend.wordpress.com]

Mud face masks...

Mike and I had a great time this last weekend at “Hannah’s Salon” getting mud mask facials.  Hannah is our 7-year-old, who loves all things beauty.  I’m a bit of a tom boy myself, but that’s okay. 

First I gave her a facial with face cleanser, a hot towel and then moisturizer, then hot towel again, then green mountain clay mask. She loved it.

Of course I was not going to get off that easily, as she wanted to do me too.  Okay, she was neat, but then she wanted to do daddy’s face… 

Mike is such a trooper with those things, I made a video of him getting his face done, see it on our website at http://www.TheRealParents.com.  It’s pretty funny. 

Could she get anymore mask on his face??

Best, Sandy (& Mike Q) www.TheRealParents.com

[Via http://therealparents.wordpress.com]

Wyatt 3 months

Welcome Wyatt!  Wyatt experienced his first photo shoot, intrigue style!  I must say we got along famously as long as I was tickling his tummy, but the moment I started to click he forgot all about that.  But nevertheless with a boy as cute as Wyatt even his “popeye” shot is adorable!  (see bottom pic: popeye!)

[Via http://intrigueimagesportland.wordpress.com]

What can You do If You are A Beginner @Homeschooling

If  you are a beginner for homeschooling, the first thing that you have to prepare is find out a good curriculum for your children. For example, if you like cambridge curriculum you can download at this site:

http://www.cie.org.uk/qualifications/academic/primary/cipp/resources?region_id=0

After that you can find out a good references to make syllabus materials, for examples for 3-6 years old you can visit this site:

* http://www.starfall.com/

* DLTK’s Train Craft for Kids

* KidZone Preschool

* Free Online Homeschool Resources

* Klub Sains Ilma | Sains Itu Menyenangkan

* Paper Airplanes – Category: Hunters – Origami Free at origami-kids.com

* Free Resource Directory for Fun Learning – Home

The third things is you have to understand what is the best learning method for your children. For example about literacy, you can use Whole Language Approach or Phonic.

And then you have to prepare, some evaluation form to write daily report learning for your children. It’s up to you, all aspect that you like….you can write over there…good luck…

[Via http://ceriahomeshooling.wordpress.com]

Natural Skeptics: Kids and the Santa Myth

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.  And for a lot of people—when it comes to young children—“wonder” is the key word.  Nothing captures the magic of childhood Christmases like memories of waking up in the morning to find that, somehow, while you were sleeping, Santa Claus arrived, ate the cookies and milk you left for him (giving Rudolph the carrots, of course), and filled the room with presents.

(If I wanted to be flippant, I’d say that there’s nothing more wonderful than an overweight man breaking and entering into one’s house through as innocuous a feature as a chimney, but in the spirit of the holidays, I won’t mention such a thing.)

Those memories are tinged with nostalgia for the world-weary adults (and in this case, ‘adult’ can mean eight-year-olds) whose ideals are eventually shattered by the knowledge that Santa Claus is Mom or Dad tiptoeing around downstairs after sprinkling on the sleep with warm milk and soporific poems about sugarplums (what the heck are those?) and mice not stirring in the house (I’d hope so).

But the subsequent disillusionment doesn’t seem to prevent ultimately looking back on those memories with fondness—the carefree days watching cartoons on Saturday mornings and believing in something magical.

And there’s a lot of good in the Santa myth—it’s about joy, justice (being rewarded for meritorious behavior), and good will.  He’s jolly; he enjoys American materialism and gastronomy; and his mode of transportation hardly leaves a carbon footprint.  How could there possibly be a downside?

For one thing, it’s a lie.  Even in the service of magic and childhood wonder, it’s dishonest, and sets a precedent—the lies have to grow.

Kids are natural skeptics: they drive parents crazy with the constant “why?”  I distinctly remember the dreadful time before I learned to read—jealous of my older sister’s lexicographic skills, I would scribble in a notebook and pretend it was my diary, but when I looked back on the pages, I couldn’t remember what my “sentences” were supposed to mean.  And sitting in the backseat of the car, I’d point out every billboard and ask what it meant until both she and my mother stopped answering.  Horrible frustration—I wanted to know.

Most kids are curious—about why the ocean is blue, whether colors looks the same to everyone, what billboards say, or anything they don’t understand.  The world’s a mysterious place when you’re little (shoot, it is when you’re big), and let’s face it, Santa Claus is a mysterious guy.

Eventually, kids become skeptical about his mysterious abilities and begin to ask completely commonsense questions: how does he visit every house in 24 hours? why don’t all reindeer fly? how can a morbidly obese man fit down our chimney? (That one was particularly relevant in my house, which didn’t have a chimney.)

But parents think back to the “magic” of their early days and respond with vague claims about the supernatural.  The process of coming to a reasonable, logical conclusion is forestalled, supposedly for the good of the child in his or her fragile formative years.

That’s just it.  They are formative years.

Deflecting answers or making up far-fetched explanations to fend off questions discourages this completely healthy, completely natural, and almost universal skepticism in children.

And truth be told, attachment to the man in the red suit seems to tilt pretty heavily to the adult side.  Adults don’t want to deny their children the sense of wonder they remember; kids don’t want to be denied answers.  Cross-purposes, friends.  There’s nothing more frustrating than deflection, even now (thank goodness for Wikipedia).

Skepticism is an important thing to learn early—it’s critical thinking, reasoning through problems, learning about how the world works, the scientific method.  And in a media-saturated culture, with politicians and newscasters and advertisers and writers throwing information at us from every direction, it’s more important than even to have a mechanism to sift the wheat from the chaff.

Skeptical thinking isn’t cynicism or disillusionment; and it certainly doesn’t have to mean a Burgermeister-Meisterburger ban on Christmas (or maybe that was Oliver Cromwell…).

Once again, I have to point to Carl Sagan: The Demon-Haunted World is a manifesto for critical thinking, and I agree with every reviewer who commented that it needs to be read by every high school student who can get a copy (buy it, share it, steal it… well, maybe not the last).  He writes:

Every now and then, I’m lucky enough to teach a kindergarten or first-grade class.  Many of these children are natural-born scientists—although heavy on the wonder side and light on skepticism.  They’re curious, intellectually vigorous.  Provocative and insightful questions bubble out of them.  They exhibit enormous enthusiasm.  I’m asked follow-up questions.  They’ve never heard of the notion of a “dumb question.”

And then we get to high school.  We memorize dates and facts, read Albert Camus, flirt with nihilism.  Don’t tell me it’s childhood trauma from that Christmas day the magic died.  It’s because we never learned critical thinking at all.  Just the opposite, in fact—as children, every time we tried, we were discouraged.  Questions are brushed off or patronized (“because the ocean reflects the sky, dear”; “because the reindeer are magic!”).  Memories of Santa Claus bring a lump to our collective throat?  Maybe because we think he holds a monopoly on magic.

There’s just as much excitement in learning how to read, or in finding a solution to a problem all by yourself (don’t kids incessantly insist on doing things on their own?)—maybe more.  In any case, that’s the kind of wonder that lasts.

[Via http://thescattering.wordpress.com]

<i>The Evil Child...</i>

Evil Andrew

 

The Evil Child…  

Today’s news is so depressin’ these days… and the stories just get worse and worse.  

Today the story breaks that this mofo just ’strangled’  his 10-year-old lil’  brother!    

Just because.    

And it’s not that he just strangled him, it’s that the crime is so brutal, and everyone is so young…  

Andrew Conley was charged as an adult  in Ohio Circuit Court with murdering his brother, Conner Conley.    Both his parents, Shawn and Bridget Conley were all for that, chargin as an adult.    I guess you can’t blame them.  

This crazy mofo walked into a police station,  and announced that he had killed his brother,Conner while they were wrestlin’ at their home Sunday. (Parents were out.)     He said he choked him out, and then put on gloves and choked him some more (20 MINUTES!) till blood came out of his nose and mouth (his words!).    Then he put a bag over this childs head, and drug him (down steps feet first!- his has head abrasions and wounds…) and stuffed him in the trunk of his car.   Then this crazy mofo drove to his girlfriends house and gave her a promise/friendship ring; she said he was ” more happy than she had ever seen him”.   

Then drove his lil brother’s body to a park and just dumped it.   

This baby had begged for his life.  “Andrew, stop.“  

This boy’s reason for all this madness is that he ‘had fantasized for years” of killing someone, and that he felt like “Dexter” some crazy serial-killer on ShowTime.  He said he did it to satisfy his craving to kill.   With his sick ass.  

“Like I had to … like when people have something like they are hungry and there is a hamburger sitting there and they knew they had to have it,” (Conley allegedly told cops.)  

They say he is showin no remorse.   And he’s 17.  

This is so horrible.  I bet those parents really dont know which way to turn.  One son is dead and the other has confessed to killing him; and they love them both.  I know it was a hard decision not to fight for Andrew’s life, right now, to allow him to be tried as an adult (not that they could have stopped the state- but they could have put up a fight; they’re not…), knowing that he will surely face the death penalty…to, I guess, decide to turn their backs on him.   

But this boy had problems before all this and I think the parents knew it.  There are ‘reports’ that Nov.16th- 12 days before all this mayhem, they had withdrew Andrew from school.  No one wants to say why right now…  He was also allegedly one of those that do all that cuttin’ on they self, (I could never understand that; no matter what the fluck!) and what they are sayin at least now is that ‘this is an indication that he may be suffering from Depression or Anxiety, or experiencing Overwhelming Emotions (such as Rage).   

OK…so these are the signs.  Why did they not see them??

Or maybe they did and when all this movin out of school-drastic in itself- is explained in more detail, we will know what demons slept in this child;  He’s a child too; he 17.   And there was something.  He killed his lil brother, just like (**snap!**) that. 

Lawd, what is this world really comin’ to…?

[Via http://benzbaby.wordpress.com]

Will I make it this Christmas?- photos

Sorry I didn’t post anything last week.

Sickness hit our family this week with a bang.

Having lots of people home really puts paid to clear thinking or doing anything but the necessities.

But, having the girls around more this week inspired this collection of ideas.

Use the photos stored on your computer or from facebook to ‘elf yourself’ and email it to your loved ones. Animate your family (including pets) and send it as your Christmas letter.A family letter that’s a bit more enjoyable than rrenovations and school awards…… oh….  did I say that!

One of 6 year olds school friends mum (if that makes sense) showed me how a couple of weeks ago. Thanks Sarah!

Make a Smilebox calendar

You may remember back in August I put together a little taster of the harrysdesk collection. This same site has lots of christmas ideas (some way too cheesy for me personally).But this easy and quick idea is so simple even the most computer challenged among us will be able to work it out , and everyone will be dumbfounded at your skills!

A personalised calendar made from smilebox. This could work for the guy in your list. Any picture you can find on line can be dragged into this calendar. Think sports cars, lego models, computer gadgetry or family photos for grandpa.

It is free.If  you want it advertising free and to be able to put your own tunes behind it, it will cost you a little and you pay by the month.

This image is a good example of how a photo of almost anything can be framed simply and turned into an artwork.

Teks and $2 shops and often op-shops are a great source of frames.

A bath photo for someone who loves their tub. A stove for the resident cook. Or do a set of four, or nine like this one.

Photo thanks to Rob Llewellyn.

If all these ideas seem too tricky (although I have only given you ones I know you can do) … go back to basics.

Have a favourite shot printed up, or turned into a canvas, for anyone, or yourself.

My resident favourite photographer Christen uses Domain .

Order and upload from home. They’ll send them to you or you can pick them up.

She trusts them with her shots.… and that’s enough for me.

[Via http://allysonadeney.wordpress.com]