‘I’ve been for a scan. I knew something wasn’t right!”
Over in the UK, my mother gasped.
‘Well, it’s not normal is it? Someone as strong and healthy as me being this wiped out.’
‘What’s wrong?’
‘I don’t know how it’s happened, but it’s twins!’
She burst out laughing and I wondered why.
‘Oh, it’s just the way you said it! I was expecting something terrible.’
‘It is terrible!’
‘What did Tim say?’
‘That, if we want to keep expanding our family at the same rate, in two years time we’ll have to have quads. The only good news is there are two placentas so they’re not fighting for food or oxygen.’
‘Can they tell if they’re identical or not?’
‘Two placentas. That means not, apparently. Which is why I can’t understand how this has happened. Fraternal twins are supposed to run in families. We don’t have twins, do we?’
Actually, my older sister has twins, but through IVF. If three embryos get put in, you can hardly be surprised if two babies pop out.
‘What about on Tim’s side?’
‘Being married to him wouldn’t make me release two eggs, surely?’
‘There’s no telling what it might make you do.’
‘The government must add something to the water here, I reckon, to increase the birthrate. Oh, God! How will we cope? We’ll have to sell them to the circus.’
‘You’ll manage. Everyone always does.’
‘The book says that the accepted wisdom is that only women who cope well with babies have twins. That’s quite reassuring, isn’t it?’
For some reason, my mum didn’t reply.
Strange things people say when you’re expecting twins:
Wah! So big! It must be twins, lah?
Courtesy of the checkout girl in Cold Storage.
Do twins run in the family?
Not that we know of.
Oh. So you were just unlucky, then.
Thanks to our play-group leader.
I’m not even going to stand next to Tim, just incase.
Those kind of ’super sperm’ comments are the ones Tim most enjoys. I can’t understand why – having efficient swimmers is in no way related to your ability between the sheets.
But my favorite response of all was my sister’s.
Oh! You lucky, lucky girl!
And we are lucky. There are lots of people desperate to be in our position. Life isn’t always fair.
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