I am on a quest to continue learning the proper ways to interact with my step children. Putting to use what I have read so far has made a big difference in the way life moves at the house. I still am amazed and agitated that a big part of the problem was me. The way I was getting lost in the little things. Not letting myself have fun with the best and brightest kids around. I’ve said once or twice and thought many times that if I had kids of my own I would want them to be just like these two. I hope I have not waited too long to get my act together to have a real strong relationship with them.
I still struggle with some things. I think my step son has a good idea of how I feel about him, we have our ups and downs but all in all I think he knows I love him. As for my step daughter I’m not real sure. She gives me the feeling we are on good terms but there seems to be a line that just can’t be crossed. I want to give her a hug and tell her I love her but I am unsure if it would be accepted. Not that there is a problem just that she is a daddy’s girl and I’m not daddy. And the fact that she is 17 and can be moody sometimes. I try very hard to let her be her own person, yes I do put in my two cents whether it is wanted or not.
Let me try to describe my step daughter. When I met her she was a fun loving 12 years old. She had a brightness in her eyes that would light up the room. The wildest things would come out of her mouth, the word combinations would send you to the floor laughing. As she has matured into a young lady some of that has changed. There is still a large amount of that fun loving little girl but it is now wrapped in a beautiful young woman. In between the woman she is now and the little girl she has shown her talents. She was in the choir, she had the voice to do the solo, but not the confidence or want (I’m not sure which). I love to hear her sing with the radio, it drives her brother crazy, but not me. In high school she was dancing, I took many pictures of her on the football field… she was the best one there and no it’s not because I am biased it’s the truth. During all this she has always made good grades. She is very head strong and has not let me help her in much of the school work. I think I can remember 2 maybe 3 times where she needed my help. Hell, she is taking calculus and other classes I either didn’t take or have forgotten. She has done good traveling the road through adolescents and not gotten in trouble as some do. She likes her alone time but still comes back to mom and sometimes me. Through all the formal dances I have had the fortune to take the pictures of her and her date with other friends. As you would expect she out shined all the others. That brightness I saw in her eyes as a little girl is still there. It radiates from her in all she does. That goofy little girl is still there and continues to show but wrapped in the young woman. Next year she will go off to college, I will miss her greatly. I hope she will come home regularly if for not much more that to get her clothes washed and more money. I look forward, in a sad way, to the changes she undertakes toward further becoming an adult while she is off at college. I have only one request; Please promise to be smart and safe when making choices of what to do. If I can help you can always call me anytime.
It’s only fair that I try to describe my step son. He was 6 or 7 years old when I met him. He was the typical rambunctious little boy. He loved his TV and video games; that has not changed much. He had a laugh that was contagious. It’s one of those laughs that seems to start at his toes and just takes over his whole body. Sometimes you wondered if he was going to breathe. He’s always wanted to be a football player his mom would not let him play until recently, starting at 11. He, like his sister, is very smart. School grades are not much of a concern as long as he likes the class and teacher. Yep; he too is head strong and will try very hard to buck the rules and do it his way. He is just now starting to show his talents. He has always been very happy and fun to be around, he has a smile that brightens any place he is. This year, he’s 12 now, he is the starting left side linebacker. I am very proud of him; he wanted a starting position and did what the coaches told him to do. Now he is the starter. He enjoys hunting so we are going. I look forward to sharing with him the things I have learned from my grandfather. He is just starting the maturing process; I’m 5-5 and will soon be looking up to him. I think he will 6’, we are working on his strength now in hopes that when next year comes around he will the starter again. We have him at home for another 5 -6 years so I don’t have to worry about him going off just yet. I hope he knows that I am always available to him if he needs anything, just ask.
I promise both of you that I will continue to work at being a better step father. Someone you can call upon when you need something. It’s taking me a long time to get there but with your patience and teaching I will be what you need me to be.
My wish is to be:
- someone you can count on
- someone that will listen
- someone that can help solve your problems
- someone to share laughs with
- someone to comfort you during hard times
- someone to help you learn a difficult task
- someone to cry with…
I want to be there for you in any way you will take me.
I love you both.
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