Dudelet’s toy boxing set is already gathering dust, though every now and then little elf grabs hold of the punchball stand and batters it cheerfully against the (newly painted) wall. We’d move it but it would only end up next to another wall and she might as well be bashing this one as any other.
Examining my conscience about the whole incident* I have to own up to a slight disappointment that dudelet lost interest so quickly. I’d honestly love it for us to take up a martial art together, tae kwondo or something.
Inevitably this relates to my ongoing insecurities concerning my failings as a conventional male role model. I don’t do sport, I’m deeply uncomfortable dealing with his rougher, more physical moments and I’m worried that too much of that is rubbing off – the Dr Who collection, the dislike of organised sports in all forms, a strong attraction to hair gel and eyeliner (actually, that’s all him) and so on. Boxing seemed like the wrong step in the right direction (I’m going to assume that supermum wasn’t in any way sending me an oblique message of some kind relating to a weird Brad Pitt/Helena Bonham Carter fantasy I might have inadvertently communicated in some way).
Admittedly, I’ve always found boxing attractive, in spite of my complete lack of an ability to actually hit anyone. At school, I was one of those boys who’d flail wildly until floored by more targeted workrates. I spent a lot of time on my back being sarcastic (no double entendre intended) which invariably would earn me a good kicking into the bargain. Being able to fight would have been a Good Thing.
But I can’t, so like so many other skinny nerds before me, I’ve channelled it via appallingly violent video games and spectacularly explosive movies with a ludicrously high body count.
This is, of course, in complete contradiction to my stated political and ethical positions about just about everything (there’s a supportive quote from Walt Whitman echoing in my ears here).
This post isn’t going anywhere. I’m just saying, y’know?
*I examine my conscience about everything.
No comments:
Post a Comment